in an instant
Before dawn I drove a dear friend to the airport where he’s catching a flight to the rest of his life. One in which is beloved dad will no longer be present. One in which his mom’s best friend and life partner will no longer be around to share all the big and little things. One in which his sister may one day walk down the aisle with her brother blessing her future instead of her dad whose honor it would have been to do so.
Life changes in an instant. And I’m really struck by the swiftness with which it can happen. One minute to the next.
When my mom died, while I knew it was going to happen it didn’t make the process any easier, and yet it did. Knowing made the ability to psychologically prepare available to me and I’ll be forever grateful. Time allowed me to begin to process the sadness, loss and fear of her perhaps one day being gone. I was in denial at the time about the nearness of it all, but I knew it was possible.
When someone dies suddenly, you are fucking robbed of the gentleness and grace of processing a life without them. I believe it’s one of the biggest gifts the universe can provide. No one is privileged for getting it, it’s simply a matter of being in the right moment at the right time.
My heart is aching for my friend, his mom, his sister, the many, many friends and so many others who knew and loved Dave. He wasn’t just a kind, generous and loving man. He was the epitome of strength, honor, lovingkindness and humility. He built his life on the principle that helping others is the only way to live. The only way.
In his retirement he started a nonprofit that supported vulnerable people in need of practical things like wheelchair ramps and roof repairs. Throughout his life he spent time with men in prison, talking with and providing mentorship to them.
His life choices have directly influenced the path my dear friend has taken. One where being in service to others is nonnegotiable. One where you treat every human you encounter with dignity, respect and kindness.
My prayer for all who knew Dave, as well as those who didn’t get the opportunity, is to be here now. Live, love and act with grace, kindness and humility always. Be in service to others — say hello, lend a hand, share a meal — with people you encounter who need a hello, hand or meal.
I will move through each day of the rest of my life with love in my heart and gratitude for the opportunity for another chance to get things right.